This past week I was alone with Parker, my son, because my husband was out of town. When my husband is here, we have a routine that we follow and it works quite nicely for us. We kind of take a divide and conquer attitude. For example, during the school year, I get Parker out of bed and dressed and delivered to Leo who has been making breakfast. Leo then sits down and feeds breakfast to Parker while I get dressed. Then, while Leo takes Parker to the bathroom and brushes his teeth, I load the car and then I take Parker to school and get him to his classroom. At night we have a similar routine where I get him ready for bed and Leo will give Parker his medications and brush his teeth and read a story and put him down. These routines have just evolved over the years and it keeps us both from having to do it all.
Since I was on my own this week, I realized several things. First, I am so glad I have my husband and we work together to raise Parker. Next, raising a child with as many disabilities as Parker has is very time consuming, back breaking, and tiring. I am exhausted and ready to have my partner back. Thank goodness, he will be back today!
The last realization I made this week is that I almost never have a chance to just sit down and play with Parker. Most of the time, Parker is very content to play on his own and he doesn’t seem to need or want much interaction. It depends on his medication levels and right now we have had a decrease in meds. The decrease has led to his wanting more attention and interaction which is great! Unfortunately, this week was not a good time to need interaction with mom. Let’s just say that I was lucky to keep up with all the necessities. Since we do everything for him, including taking him to the bathroom, hopefully at the right time, I didn’t find myself with any extra time.
As I got to bed last night, it suddenly dawned on me that my son had been trying to get me to play with him and it bothered me all night that I never had the time. I kept saying to myself that I would have time later; but, later never came. I don’t know what I could have given up to have had the time, but it bothered me so much that I made a pledge to skip his bath in the morning and play with him after feeding him breakfast and cleaning up. Once I had resolved to correct my imperfection, I was finally able to sleep. I am sure it didn’t permanently scar Parker; but, I wasn’t going to be able to live with myself until I made some time for him.
Since school starts this week, I needed to feel as if I did my best. Yes, I know I did do my best before I made time to play, but he wanted to spend some time with Mom and I needed to oblige him. So, he spent a day a little stinky; but, content that he played with me. I guess I need to compromise every once in awhile in order to do it all, especially when doing it alone. I am just so glad I don’t have to do it alone very often!